A Note from the Author

If you are reading these words and have just lost a loved one to suicide, I want to tell you three things. The first is that you are not alone in your pain. The second is that there is hope for your broken heart. And the third is that, with help, you can and must survive.​

 

I am certain of these three things only because I have lived them myself and I continue to live them every single day. I know that you are not alone because I exist, too. I know there is hope for your broken heart because I have felt hope in my own broken heart. And I know that you must survive and march on because, just like me, it is still your turn here on this earth.

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This guide is unapologetically written through the lens of my personal experience. I can’t offer anything other than my own advice because I can only be certain of what has worked for me. Granted, many of the survival tactics that I share are practiced and recommended by a robust mix of medical professionals, grief counselors, fellow suicide survivors, and friends – but I have written this entirely from my personal perspective. It is subjective, and it's all I know to be true.

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Luckily for both of us, there is a wealth of resources on coping with grief, and specifically with grief in the aftermath of a suicide, and I pray and trust that these resources flow to you in the coming weeks and months. Many such resources found me, for which I'm very grateful.

 

In my experience, it was overwhelming to consider healing, rebuilding, and finding meaning in the grief while you're trying to survive such devastating heartbreak. For me, the early days after a suicide death were about surviving each day. So, I've written a Survival Guide for the First 30 Days After a Suicide Loss. It is meant to share the basic, replicable steps that carried me through the first 30 days of deepest heartbreak.

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This is the guide that I wish I had when I first received the news that my beloved mother had taken her life. It is all infused with my most genuine hope that it might help you. Take from it anything that brings you relief, and leave all that doesn’t.​

 

The first 30 days of deep grief may be the most challenging of your life, but I believe that you can do it. I was quite sure I couldn’t, but I did.

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Yours in solidarity – through the darkness and back into the light,

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Lillian Frain Bicchieri

Daughter of Joan Frain Bicchieri (June 17, 1958 - December 17, 2021)

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Please contact me at lillianbicchieri@gmail.com. I will be happy to hear from you.